The information in this appendix is arranged in this order: date first heard (month/day/year), joke, and place collected. The codes for place collected are as follows:

BR: Baton Rouge, Louisiana; H: Huntsville, Alabama; L: London, England; LL: Lafayette, Louisiana; M: Muncie, Indiana; MS: Muscle Shoals, Alabama; P: Philadelphia, Mississippi; PP: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Jokes marked with an asterisk are from a collection sent to me by Barry Jean Ancelet of the University of Southwestern Louisiana; jokes marked with two asterisks are from a collection sent to me by Barbara Allen of the University of Notre Dame.

1984. Winter-Spring Do you know what gay stands for? Got AIDS yet? [M]

Winter-Spring Do you know why they haven't found a cure for AIDS yet? They can't find two rats that will butt-fuck. [M]

Winter-Spring Do you know what you call a gay man in a wheelchair? RollAIDS. [M] [Rolaids is a brand of antacid lozenge]

Summer Do you know what the most difficult thing about having AIDS is? Trying to convince your mother that you're part Haitian. [M]

1985. 8/7 What's the greatest worry in California right now? Who got the last piece of the Rock. [MS]

8/19 What do you call a woman with AIDS? A Rockette. [P]

8/19 Do you know how to give artificial respiration to an AIDS victim? [Acted out: teller pretends to stomp on chest, blows toward victim's face.] [P]

8/19 Did you hear that the Harvey Milk School [established for gay and lesbian youth] couldn't hire any teachers, so they had to hire aides? [P]

8/19 How do you keep from getting AIDS? Sit on your ass and keep your mouth shut. [P]

8/19 Do you know what AIDS stands for? Another Infected Dick Sucker. [P]

8/21 Do you know what Prudential [Insurance] and Jim Nabors have in common? They've both had a piece of the Rock. [M] ["Get a piece of the Rock" was a Prudential Insurance slogan]

8/21 Do you know what the doctors told Rock Hudson? Don't worry‹ we'll have you back on your knees in no time. [M]

8/21 Did you know Rock Hudson was born in New York? But he was reared in L.A. [M]

8/23 1 feel sorry for Rock Hudson, but all his good friends are behind him. [M

8/23 Did you hear about the movie they're making with Sylvester Stallone and Rock Hudson? It's called Rambutt. [Stallone was well-known for his role an action film called Rambo.] [M; also MS]

9/15 Rock Hudson can't get car insurance. He's been creamed in the rear too many times. [M]

9/15 Did you hear Jim Nabors was found dead? He was found face up on the Hudson. [refers to persistent rumors that the two men were lovers.] [M]

9/15 Did you hear they found out Rock Hudson doesn't have AIDS; he has food poisoning? He got hold of a bad piece of meat. [M]

September? You know. Rock Hudson doesn't have a lot of friends, but he's got Nabors up the butt.**

September? Did you hear Jim Nabors can't get insurance? He was the last one to get a piece of the Rock.**

September? What's the difference between Rock Hudson and Ellis Island? Ellis Island is a ferry terminal.**

September? What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair? Roll-AIDS.**

September? Did you hear Jim Nabors died? They found him face down on the Hudson.**

9/28 Do you know what sickle-cell anemia is? AIDS for spades. [M]

9/28 Do you know what AIDS stands for? Ass-Injected Death Sentence. [M]

9/28 You know, they're going to have to change what they call AIDS. All the blacks keep applying for it. [M]

10/2 Did you hear they found Jim Nabors dead? He was bobbing up and down on the Hudson. [MS]

10/2 Did you know Rock Hudson was born in Chicago? But he was reared in California. [MS]

10/2 Do you know what AIDS stands for? Already-Infected Dick Sucker. [MS]

10/2 Do you know what AIDS stands for? Adios, Infected Dick Sucker. [MS]

10/2 Did you hear they cancelled Rock Hudson's insurance? He kept getting rear-ended. [MS]

10/2 Did you hear that the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta have decided to set up an AIDS research center out at Stone Mountain? They're going to call it "Sick Fags over Georgia." [MS]

November Did you hear about the deadly disease going around in Carmel [an affluent suburb of Indianapolis]? It's called MAIDS. You'll die if you don't have one. [The Works magazine, November 1985]

11/10 You know what they call two gays on a skateboard? Roll-AIDS. [H]

11/19 Why is it you can't get lost in San Francisco? There's aides on every corner. [MS]

12/9 Did you hear about this deadly new disease that's going around? It's called "hearing AIDS." You know how you get it? By listening to all those assholes. [M]

12/27 Do you know what it says on Rock Hudson's tombstone?
Asses to ashes,
Lust to dust.
If you had tried pussy
You'd still be with us. [M]

12/27 Do you know why all the alligators in Florida are dying? They've got gator-AIDS. [Gatorade is a sports drink]

12/27 Did you hear about the Rock Hudson designer jeans? They have the zipper in the back. [M]

1986. 1/10 Do you know how AIDS got from Illinois to California? In an old Hudson. [M]

1/10 This drunk goes into a gay bar and asks to get fucked in the ear because his doctor told him he needed hearing aids. [M]

1/14 Did you know [gymnast] Mary Lou Retton is dying? She has AIDS. Do you know how she got it? She's been eating what the big boys eat. [refers to Wheaties cereal slogan; Retton was featured in Wheaties advertising] [M]

1/14 Do you know the number of the AIDS hotline? OICU8 12. [Oh, I see you ate one, too.] [M]

1/15 Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
I've got AIDS,
Now you do, too.
[Teller kisses listener at end of each line. [M]

2/8 There's a bad joke going around town: "What does 'gay' mean in Hollywood?" "Got AIDS yet?" [Dobson 1986] [Kevin Dobson, quoted in "Hollywood Love Scenes: The Scares, Laughs, Romance," TV Guide. 8 February 1986, p. 6.]

February Did you hear about the deadly disease going around among the Eskimos in Alaska? It's called Cool-AIDS. [M] [Kool-Aid is a powdered drink mix]

2/17 How do you get hearing AIDS? From listening to too many assholes. [PP]

2/19 Did you hear they found a cure for AIDS? Extra-Strength Tylenol. [M]

3/2 Did you hear that even the Statue of Liberty has AIDS? She got it from screwing around with the Staten Island Ferry. [M]

March? Rock Hudson, John Belushi, and Orson Welles are trying to get into heaven. They're sent back to earth for twenty-four hours, but they are told not to do anything perverted. So they're walking down the street and they pass a restaurant. Orson Welles says he's going to go in and get something to eat. Rock Hudson and John Belushi say, "No, you can't do that. That's gluttony; that's perverted." Welles says, "Nonsense, everybody has to eat." So he starts into the restaurant, and just as he steps through the door he vanishes.
So Rock Hudson and John Belushi go on down the street. A man rushes out of a drug store and drops a package. Belushi picks it up, and Rock Hudson vanishes. [M]

Compare with the following. collected in Bloomington, Indiana, in October 1981, the year that AIDS was first diagnosed: A Greek, an Italian, and a Jew were walking down the beach and found a lamp. They picked it up and rubbed, and a genie came out and said, "I'm going to grant you each a wish, but there's one condition: you can't do anything ethnic for twenty-four hours. If you do you'll vanish."
So they were walking down the street and passed a restaurant. They could smell the spaghetti, and the lasagna, and all the pasta, and the Italian said, "I'm hungry. I'm going to go in and have something to eat." And the Greek and the Jew said, "No! You can't do that! That's ethnic!" And he said, "Oh, that's ridiculous; everybody's got to eat." So he went in. And just as he stepped through the door‹poof!‹he vanished.
So the Greek and the Jew went on down the street, and they saw a five-dollar bill lying on the sidewalk. And the Jew said, "Look! Somebody dropped some money I'm going to pick it up." And the Greek said, "No, you can't do that! That's ethnic!" And the Jew said, "Nonsense. Everybody needs money" And he bent over to pick up the five-dollar bill and‹poof!‹they both vanished.

3/25 Did you hear about the new Rock Hudson Memorial Hospital? It doesn't have any doctors or nurses‹just aides. [M]

3/25 Do you know what this is [teller extends hand containing Vaseline lotion]? Rock Hudson's last fart. [M]

4/1 Did you hear how the Statue of Liberty got AIDS? From a Staten Island fairy. [The Advocate, 443: 112]

4/6 What two kinds of bread give you AIDS? Rye and white. [M]

4/17 What do you call a couple of gay lawyers? Legal AIDS. [L]

4/17 What do you call gay guys who own a projector? Visual AIDS. [L]

4/17 What do you call a group of gay musicians? Band AIDS. [L]

4/17 What's the great mystery about AIDS? It can turn a fruit into a vegetable. [L]

4/17 Do you know the latest sweets for homosexuals? After AIDS. [After Eights‹a popular after-dinner chocolate mint] [L]

6/26 Do you know what WHAM! stands for? We Have AIDS, Mom! [WHAM! was a rock-music duo consisting of George Michael (who later came out as gay after being arrested in 1998 for committing "lewd acts" in a public restroom in Beverley Hills, California) and Andrew Ridgeley] [M]

8/7 Do you know what Len Bias and Rock Hudson have in common? They both got hold of some bad crack. [refers to "crack" cocaine] [M]

No dates Which item does not belong in the following list? Syphilis, AIDS, herpes, a house in Lafayette? Syphilis, because it's something you can get rid of.* [LL]

Did you hear about his [Rock Hudson's] other new movie? It's called Romancing the Bone.* [LL]

Do you know what you call Rock Hudson in a refrigerator? Kool AIDS.*[LL]

Did you hear about the new Rock Hudson designer jeans? They have kneepads and a zipper on the back. * [LL]

What did Gomer Pyle [played by actor Jim Nabors] say when he heard that Rock Hudson had AIDS? Well, golly.* ["Well, go-o-o-lly" was a standard remark by Gomer Pyle.] [BR]

Did you hear about the queer who was in a hurry to review his life insurance policy? He had had a piece of the Rock.* [LL]

1987. June? Did you hear about the two Polack junkies? They were shooting up one day, and one of them took the needle and shot up. And then the second one took the needle from the first one and shot up with it. The first Polack said, "Are you crazy? Why did you shoot up with the same needle I used? Don't you know I have AIDS?" And the second Polack said, "Oh, that's OK. I'm wearing a condom." [M]

June A little boy came home from school one day‹he was about in the third grade. And he came home and his mother said, "Johnny, what did you learn in school today?" Johnny said, "Well, we had sex education class." His mother was kind of shook up, and she said, "Well, what did you learn about?" And the little boy said, "We learned all about AIDS." Well, that really shook her up. So she said, "Well, what did you learn about AIDS?" He said, "Well, you can't get it from a toilet seat, and you can't get it from kissing, and you really have to watch those intersections." [H]

Newfolk :: Resources :: Library

Page 1 :: Appendix A :: Appendix B :: Update 2001