Pattie McCarthy

Dead Reckoning

 

Another silence (I had already askedfor the bill) and with a kind ofconfidence which I still like to think of: I have afeeling that with you [vous] it would bedifferent.
              --Jacques Derrida

 

Turns taken in navigation
          andthere's a kind of confession
In your street--let's move
to a less formalyou     Qu'est-ce tu fais?
Looking for the ends of sentences.

          Every time I rubbed my eyes
          yousnapped a picture--
          patented the expression.
The mouth an atrium filled with light,
the moon a gin-lemon--
               mysteriously seagulls, north
               p h i l a d e l p h i a
damp byzantium,
          then:
a tuning fork,
a pressed-pink (your
fuchsia-face is back)
     hearsay     heresy eventually
all pronouns careen
too much fiction--construct
a vicarious narrative, a capacity for failure.

Humor distribution--the horns of a student orchestra
(overheard) Filigree melodies--     sostenuto

                                             f

     in ordinary time:

A soundtrack for that winter.
The letter arrives after supper.
Curiously dichotomous--     gravity.
     The letter, sealed, must
become amnesia. The seal
must be believed.
          Ecliptic tragic axis.

The epic epistle--it forgets us
every instant. We notice that we
     are writing
and imagine ourselves a correspondence not absurd.

Nothing is hand-maid and nothing
is placed in hope chests. Textual ludic.
          Inlinen she says: my gown aches.

The letter a sounding line,
the word--lead. Core
     d e s p o n d e n c e. Myarticulation
is static. The problem with a neverending
conversation about night is that
     eventually     light.     On se tutoie?
A neutral you, rue infused
          (grappa non grata)

     Hypercrypyted
after supper.
what I meant to say     Mythomania
The irritating greed sealed in an envelope
and the entire of a letter can only be
     possible
not accomplished     testing depths

so somehow through the mail we reach
a formality      and a looseness thatimplies
words flying from us with a sort of heaven in their destination
even when done carefully--can only describe what's missing.

In heaps of yellow leaves there are plans
and the price of heroes--miracles
are nowhere but in the veins.
     Aphasia, not what follows,
cypress eyelashes--sleep.

Because I am an egomaniac, I love a woman smoking in a poem.
He said (but I never wrote) "my gown aches"
She wants him to only stand
very still.     Sublunary, thuschangeable,
a garment, or spectre--earthly or
     spectacular. A stutteringhieroglyph.

The correspondence: absurd.
By which celestial conjecture shall we interpret?
The signature a body choking.

 

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