1. atfive, I thought it was, like Sleepy, "Hollow," like thejack-o-lantern (hollow: possessing empty space; lackingfaith or substance; hungry.) Corrected, told "Hallow," and madeto look it up (hallow: to set apart as sacred; to honor;to hold with reverence), it's taken this long to know thedifference.
2. atfifteen, I would fast to feel hollow; not weightless, butthe dizzy rush when hunger turns to wings, beating inside ribs,caged just below my throat. Reinterpreting saintly visions assuggestive of starvation delirium, I smile, wind whistling throughbones, but still see only fireflies and flashes of silver. Still,this (is what I mean), tingling of fingertips, tightening in mychest, is more than real, is all I need to feel (hallowed).
3. the need to possess (eachother) language, fill in (hollow)holes in speech, coming back to philosophy (to speak another'slanguage is to understand how they see the world);understanding the need for a new way of saying this (is what Imean); understanding that if I (you) hesitate, thehollowness will crush (this) my- (our-) self; understandingthis (is what I mean), the difference a letter makes.
4. the hunger (see also, hollow) to set apart (see also,hallow) this (tingling in my fingers) from what has beensaid before (lacking faith or substance), to say this (iswhat I mean), this (I hunger -- honor), this (Ipossess -- hold), this (my errata stigmata), thisdifference makes a letter.
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